Choose Your Own Adventure: The Case of the Missing Book

Books go missing from libraries. Librarians and library users hate that. Patrons demand explanations, and librarians yearn for the answers. Where do books go when they are missing? They choose their own adventures. Go ahead sleuths, track down that book. Your patrons depend on you. Here are your options:

Get paranoid.

Explain that some books just don't fit in.

Surrender the book. You've had it all along.

(A special thanks to Katie for making this possible.)

Happy Birthday, UGLi Blog!!

It's been one heckuva year. Thanks for all the good times, UB!

In honor of this joyous occasion, here's a quick link to some of our favorite posts: OMG, yay! Any other favorite blog moments? Suggestions for the next year? Post them in a comeback!
<3

Punk'd!

Funny thing happened this afternoon while I was working Ask a Librarian, our instant message chat reference service. To give you some context, the most common questions we get on this service are about access problems for our online databases, often a frustrating (and generally boring) topic for both the patron and the librarian. Chat reference is usually a rather proper exchange, as far as text chats go, and often concerns bibliographic information. But not today...

[15:58] meeboguest940311: Hi dude whats up

(I'm used to people being occasionally informal on chat, especially the millennials, but this gave me pause. I considered several lines of attack, including some uptight, librarian-y responses, before settling on a laid-back approach.)

[15:59] UMLibraryAskUs: hi
[15:59] UMLibraryAskUs: not much
[15:59] UMLibraryAskUs: what's up with you?

[15:59] meeboguest940311: can you tell me who the cool bald guy who does film is?

[15:59] UMLibraryAskUs: hmm
[15:59] UMLibraryAskUs: at Askwith?

(I was thinking "film" as in videos and DVDs, not film studies.)

[15:59] meeboguest940311: No at the grad
[16:00] UMLibraryAskUs: oh, yes. That's Scott Dennis.

(Scott Dennis is my librarian crush. He knows pretty much everything about electronic resource collection development. He is, in fact, a cool bald guy.)

[16:00] meeboguest940311: Oh yeah, that is his name. Thanks!
[16:00] UMLibraryAskUs: no problem!

[16:00] meeboguest940311: later dude
[16:00] UMLibraryAskUs: l8r

(I was particularly proud of my signoff. All in all, a quick, entertaining exchange.)

I emailed Scott to tell him he's famous -- that pretty much everyone on the library website today is looking for him -- and it turns out he was the patron at the other end of my fun chat:

Katie, I cannot tell a lie… That was me, doing a live demo for a Screen Arts class I was teaching. I wasn’t planning on it, but when I showed the Library Help feature in CTools, a student in the class said, someone is there right now waiting to chat? In a tone of disbelief. So I decided to prove it on the spot. I didn’t want to make whoever was on chat duty actually have to do any research work, and I wanted to be funny, so… It worked like a charm. The class roared with laughter (about 50 of them in Angell Hall Auditorium D), and they were very impressed with your hip current texting style! That’s really a librarian? One asked. I’m very lucky you were the one on duty! Thanks. --Scott

It's been a long week, but now I feel great. I'm so hip, a studio audience of 50 millennials can't even tell I'm a librarian.

[Uptight Librarian Note: I received permission from Scott to post this on the blog; I don't go around randomly publishing patrons' private messages to the internet.]

Consultant for the ________ Mafia

It's morning. The librarian is in bed, reading. Her phone rings, she looks up from her book reluctantly. The answering machine picks up the call.

Message: Hello, hello, hello, Emily, this is Mo. I got your name from _________. When you get this message please return my call. If you end up leaving me a message, I will call you back immediately.

Librarian cracks up laughing, calms herself, and then picks up the phone and returns the call.

Mo: Hello.

Librarian: (curiously) Hi, this is Emily. I just got your message.

Mo: Oh, Emily, yes, did you recognize where I got your name?

Librarian: Yes.

Mo: That is great. Well, Emily, let me explain. I traveled to _________ International Middle School recently and they showed me the library and told me about the Library Scholar that they brought in to help them organize their library. They speak very highly of you. But you see, Emily, the reason that I visited that school was because I am starting a school of my own. We don’t have the funding we need yet, but we have students, 4 teachers, and a board. I am trying to build a library for the students, and don’t know where to begin.

Librarian: Okay…

Mo: I know that you have experience in this.

Librarian: No, not really, I don’t work at a school.

Mo: Well, I need some help. You see I need to buy books, and don’t know where to begin. Do you know how to build a curriculum?

Librarian: (dumbfounded) No. I’m not a teacher.

Mo: Ah, yes then Emily, you understand my predicament. You see, Emily, I am not an educator, I come from the airline industry by trade.

Librarian: (biting the sleeve of her pajama cardigan to suppress either laughter or tears) Uuuuhhhh….

Mo: What I want is for you to come and visit my school in __________, _______ and teach me how to start a library. Or, if that cannot be done, I will come and speak with you in your city.

Librarian: (hesitates) I am super busy.

Mo: (laughs) Ah, yes, Emily, aren’t we all. I don’t know what books to buy. Emily, you are the expert.

Librarian: (uncertain) I’ll e-mail you some information.

Mo: Oh, thank you. We will be in contact about meeting soon. Oh, thank you for your time, Emily. You are a wealth of resources for me.

Librarian: Okay, bye.

The next morning the librarian is sitting at a computer, reading the New York Times. In the midst of articles on Presidential elections and failing economies she runs across the following article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/01/world/africa/01pirates.html.

Librarian: (reading the computer screen) What have I gotten myself into?