October 1, 2008

Consultant for the ________ Mafia

It's morning. The librarian is in bed, reading. Her phone rings, she looks up from her book reluctantly. The answering machine picks up the call.

Message: Hello, hello, hello, Emily, this is Mo. I got your name from _________. When you get this message please return my call. If you end up leaving me a message, I will call you back immediately.

Librarian cracks up laughing, calms herself, and then picks up the phone and returns the call.

Mo: Hello.

Librarian: (curiously) Hi, this is Emily. I just got your message.

Mo: Oh, Emily, yes, did you recognize where I got your name?

Librarian: Yes.

Mo: That is great. Well, Emily, let me explain. I traveled to _________ International Middle School recently and they showed me the library and told me about the Library Scholar that they brought in to help them organize their library. They speak very highly of you. But you see, Emily, the reason that I visited that school was because I am starting a school of my own. We don’t have the funding we need yet, but we have students, 4 teachers, and a board. I am trying to build a library for the students, and don’t know where to begin.

Librarian: Okay…

Mo: I know that you have experience in this.

Librarian: No, not really, I don’t work at a school.

Mo: Well, I need some help. You see I need to buy books, and don’t know where to begin. Do you know how to build a curriculum?

Librarian: (dumbfounded) No. I’m not a teacher.

Mo: Ah, yes then Emily, you understand my predicament. You see, Emily, I am not an educator, I come from the airline industry by trade.

Librarian: (biting the sleeve of her pajama cardigan to suppress either laughter or tears) Uuuuhhhh….

Mo: What I want is for you to come and visit my school in __________, _______ and teach me how to start a library. Or, if that cannot be done, I will come and speak with you in your city.

Librarian: (hesitates) I am super busy.

Mo: (laughs) Ah, yes, Emily, aren’t we all. I don’t know what books to buy. Emily, you are the expert.

Librarian: (uncertain) I’ll e-mail you some information.

Mo: Oh, thank you. We will be in contact about meeting soon. Oh, thank you for your time, Emily. You are a wealth of resources for me.

Librarian: Okay, bye.

The next morning the librarian is sitting at a computer, reading the New York Times. In the midst of articles on Presidential elections and failing economies she runs across the following article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/01/world/africa/01pirates.html.

Librarian: (reading the computer screen) What have I gotten myself into?


  1. Library Scholar! Runs consultant business from the fives! Tape at 11:00!

  2. Can you explain why Somalian pirates hijacking arms shipments is related to you giving collection development advice? I'm confused...

  3. Hint: _______ Mafia, ________ pirates.